I was not sure why i was comin to my room to blog this morning as it isonly 8 30 am here the day has not even started ... but i guess there are a few things that wanna come out...
so here we go who knows where i will take you...
Its been realy hard the past week i donno why is it that this week will make it a month i have been away from vancouver and i am finaly hitting a wall... I donno... but i do know it is so hard for me to write home and to go on face book and see all the christmas party's and new years eve events posted! i wana go and be included... i fell like immissing out and i realy realy miss my family as during the year we barily every get to be all together my brother and my two sisters for christmas is the only real time we have to be home at our parents and have that connection. i feel so far from my little sister sash i never talk to her and i could not even tell you one thing about her at this point i her life ... as for kaylen my other sis i could tell you she is working going to school and going to christmas party's already but no i dea of any of her personal life for this past year... and johnny well thank god i have him at least we can communicate on skype as he is a hockey player and is on the road alot so he comes on skype other wise when he is home its like finding a mouse in a hay stack ... you neve know where he is or when your phone will ring with his voice on the other side of the phone. i guess while i am out here in costa rica i realize just how dissconnected we all are where as family should be close and we shoudl all be each others bake bones.. and i feel a ittle loss being here right now detached from my family more then ever!! at this point i would rather be fighting with them know where they are and whats going on then no communication and no idea hows they are doing and where life is taking them..
another sore spot i guess that is comming up is that alot of girls here had family and bf's comming otu for christmas and new years and how much i long to hove some one come see me ... and she that closeness i love !! dont get me wrong the ppl here are amazing but schristmas and new years are that one time of year when every one comes together family and frinds...
when i am done this jurney wow ill look back and see just how much i have learnt and what a acomplish this will be as thsi i sa very big test for me and eye opener... I was talking with a girl here yesterday about how much i am realy going to miss christmas at home and she started to go off how she wont at all and how her brothers girls friend was like i think we should combine our family this christmas and her recation was sure go for it i will not be here ... and that just broke my heart ... and another girls told me that her family was small and that christmas was'nt a big thing for her that she realy just liked having a dinner and well she did that before she left..this realy opened up my eyes to be greatful for what i have at home and showed me just how important this time of year is for me ...
soo its not the gifts or the star on the top of the tree or the stockings hanging on the chimney ... its the family you have and being thankful for the loved one you have in your life ... knowing you cant take each day for granted....
(WOW DID I JUST WRITE THAT)
anyways i hope you all knwo how much i miss you and love you and wouldnt trade my family for s second !! xox
lots of love M
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