woke up glued to my bed...

Ouch so burnt to a crisp that when i woke up this morning my bed sheets were in beded in my skin and it was like i was glued to them... i realy didnt want to get out of bed but we had our meditation session! it was dynamic so it included jumping, yelling, dancing and standing still ... i was in so much pain with my neck and back being out and then on top of that my burn so i left the class a little early... and went had a a egg wrap for breakfast along with tomato juice..mm soo good!


I realy just cant wait for this burn to turn into a Tan !! ill be a hot little MOMA ha ha ha

i have decided that if i stay i wanna get the most out of it.. so we have found this course 5 rythems dance in nosra feb 15th to 28th !! how cool would that be !! its a type of mediation i could bring home with me and maybe do classes!! along with that i still see my self going to Nicaragua as i have to get my visa renued to stay in costa rica!

so much is coming together .. whoo hoo... now i just gotta get this boddy back in shape and feeling good!!

Have a great new years eve i will be thinking about all of you!!

love you all so much xx M

finaly a full day at the bech and i end up a lobster

learn t my lesson today .. came back from the beach crisp as a lobster thank goodness there is no shortage of aloe lol...

this morning we went to the beach at 9 30 am as we had to prepare a burning women (burning man) for tomorrow night as it will be New years and we are having a beach party !!

there will be locals and all of use at the black beach with music drums dancing and more ...

along with all this we will be torching the burning women and will be able to put what ever we would like in the fire if it is a few words that you want to let go of or thoughts of some thing of resemblance ....

this should be very fun and i am looking forward to it only thing is ... i went a little over the top today in the sun as Fridays are our days off and since we were at the beach and didnt think we needed to come back for lunch we stayed at teh black sand beach all day! OUCH... i even went topless...

then tonight we had 5 rhythms dance its is a free flowing dance with different rythem music ... you free form as i started it i realized it was bringing up emotion i kept going until i noticed i had a kink in my neck and could not dance any longer ... how ever i did realy enjoy the part that i did get to experience!
after the class was done Beth and i were hanging out in the room both on the computer .. when i got up to go to the wash room and realized that not only my neck was out but my hole spine and lower back were tense i could barely walk! props of taking a massage course Beth realized how much pain i was in and gave me a massage up in the booda hall... it was crazy she could feel exactly where i was holding stuff and i was feeling numbness some parts of my body would make me stuffed up and one shoulder felt lower then the other ... i was having visions and tingling along with the feeling of being nerve's and feeling i had to go pee like my 2nd sh-okra was being held tight that is at the front of your pelvis! funny thing is when i had my last break through of pain and crap coming out like this it was when my anger came out and it was in the same spot started with my neck and this is exactly where this is starting... interesting so i think it is to do with anger just dont know where its stemming from when i know i will tell you... dont you worry lol.. wont leave you in the dark...


it was a very cool session Beth and i had and am excited because tomorrow in meditation we are doing dynamic meditation where it is jumping and shaking and letting every thing come out it get intense and gets things moving in your body... as i seem to be very in tuned with my body i think it might now this is coming and is already preparing for another break through in other words some may say (break down) what ever you wanna call it.. shit might hit the fan...

lol.. and i am excited!

let you know all about it very soon ...

xox M HA HA HA .. loving the new me! ps. maybe this has to also do some thing with one of my lates bolgs ;) letting out the inner bitch ;)

staying another month...

well not heading to costa rica school of massage as my mom talked to menlha and got some advice after having a heart to heart about how my process is not done here and how this course is important and just how i have come so far that to stop in the middle would be such a shame!

i have felt like i have changed so much since i have come here and am a totally different person i would like to grow more and have decided that 90% i will be staying another month ... and if Beth is not sick of me as her side kick we might end up hanging out together!!

i have been looking at options and they are endless here !! i right now have two ideas to travel around costa rica but first head to Nicaragua as i need to get my visa renewed and they have very cute little downs and its cheaper living ...with cute hostels..

or... another option witch i am so excited for if it does work out... is hanging with Beth and renting a two bedroom condo in nicaragua for 450 a month on the beach and practice my massage maybe even earn a little money and keep up the healthy living and freedom babby!! how awsome woudl that be!!

some thing elts that came up is menlha offered to have me stay here at hocienda for a bit and massage and practice for maybe 20$ a hour during her cleanses!! how cool is that!!

so many things to do and see very excited to see what pans out in the near future as we only have 3 weeks to go !!

love you all xox M

PS MAYBE ITS TIME FOR YOU TO START THINKING ABOUT COMING TO VISIT ME!! HE HE HE

ripped my pants in costa rica! ... time to cleans againlol..

so had a funny day i have been presented for a opportunity to stay here in costa rica for another 4 months... as i have been running around and pondering what to do i ripped my pants... this opportunity would in tale me leaving hacienda and my course here of rebalencing and head to samara where i would take a four month course in massage therapy. it is a beautiful location on the beach school is equipped with a pool and has villas for each student with a kitchen and TV. sweet hey! kicker is i would have to leave here this weekend as the course starts on the 4th at 930 am so i would have to be there by the 2nd or third.

it looks amazing and would be a experience of a life time only thing is my commitment to hocienda . i have a client and a partner i would be leaving in the dust ... and i feel like i have come so far and wondering how much further i could go in the next 3 weeks ... wow 3 weeks holly shit im sitting in my room with beth and it just hit me 3 weeks ahhh....


its amazing how fast time goes by!! i feel like barbra my mom and i were just in the air port having some wine and cheersing my off on my venture!


well i should know by tomorrow if i stay or go... ill keep you posted


xox love you all

M

wow you dont know who i am ... a note to : you know who you are...

this morning i was notified that some one YOU KNOW WHO YOU ARE.... told a girls parent that i am a bad influence and that may be they should read my blog...FYI i am a great person better then you as i dont go around talking be hind ppl backs and making judgments... you told this parent that i smoke pot!! well let me tell you some thing if you have been following my blog i have only smoked pot once being here and that was one toke while being on the breach in Nosara!! am i such a horrible person? for doing this i dont think so .... why dont you look around and notice that ppl are smoking pot after every meal here at hocienda and right on the property too.. or why dont you open your eyes and realize that the food being stolen may not me one of the students but a friend living in this community.. or maybe that joan is eating desert ... ... when she is going around telling every one that she doesn't eat sweets.. i think that's bad...!!!

lets really open up here and say whats on our minds at hocienda i am sick of this in the past two weeks there is so much childish chatter ppl talking behind ppls backs... it makes me sick to my stomach so here i am telling you the truth why don't you do the same!!

i am proud of who i am and who i have become... i have nothing to hide... if you want to know what im doing ask ill tell you... but don't go around making assumptions and ruining my friend ships...

i am so disseminated in you...

michaela...

only 4 weeks left...

wow time is flying by here in costa rica only 4 weeks left here and i have no idea what i wanna do .. it feels like every thing just happens so i dont wanna make plans i feel very content rather i stay here or come home to rainy Vancouver...

i did how ever have a eye opening conversation to day with a instructor and a other student.. and i realized why i live the way i do and why i have such a attachment to home...

here we go i'm opening up some more... big breath...
since i was in elementary school i have always had two things i have thought... 1. by the age of 26 i will be married 2. i always thought i would never make it to 25 years of age...

so here i am 25 i have had hard times and good time a amazing family as a back bone but struggled as all of us have ive had depression and copped with pot... and some where in me felt like after 25 there was nothing a blank slate... if i made it well hallelujah... and here i am 25 and in costa rica .. i have only told a few ppl that i never saw my self past the age of 25... now coming up to 26 and having this time ot get to know my self and seeing the changes i have had here its incredible.. i can see my self coming home and settling down.. i have this calm about me i know who i am and what i want i respect my inner self..

i am definitely they girl i came to costa rica as... i am grounded want different things in life i want a man i can come home to i want kids i can raise and bring into my amazing family... but at the same time i know i will not settle .. i want what i want and i will not compromise... with that... i feel so strongly that i want some one who will treat me as good as i treat my self or better.. and he will need to give me what i give my self or more..

so much of my life i have compromised pushed my need's aside for others or berried my feelings in my tummy hense the belly... i get choked up talking about this because i feel beautiful and am being called a goddess here at hocienda by all my friends here and i have never felt so much love and acceptance! when i came here i was so wrapped up in material things, partying, work and not feeling good enough now i feel like i can have a simple life and be so content as i knwo who i am and am not wrapped up in a life leading me ... i am leading my life... i will now create my own path i want! we all have this audibility but it is so hard to see when we are in the world we are living in...

i am so excited to come home and share my stories and have you all see me in this new light as i am proud to be Michaela... even though i have cobwebs still to work out i know my strangth will guide its way out..

the emotional body...

today in meditation we did a different kind of practice where we went with in our self and looked at how we felt and our emotions physical and emotional. i learned a lot ive realized through this session that i avoid my own feelings and my coping mechanize is to sleep and cut my self off from other and avoid the situation. as for other i am there for them i listen and even take on their emotions and process what they are going through this is a blanket for my own emotions if i know i can help others and work thought their stuff then i dont need to work through my own.

i also have looked into my self and realized that i sleep and cut my self off because as i was a kid to deal with my parents divorce i would not show any anger or sadness towards it but rather go to my room and cry all night long in my bad then wake up and try and be there for my family rather then showing what i was going through...

there is so much here i am learning!! its amazing ... and taking time for myself to work though all of this is so great!!

PHOTOS OF CHRISTMAS DAY

Christ,mas day in costa rica !!

well they say that you are suppose to spend Christmas on the beach when you are in a hot country!! so this is what i did !!

in the morning we all gathered around the big bamboo Christmas tree and exchanged gifts as secret Santa !!it was so much fun .. i got a lot ... a bottle of honey a poem from my secret Santa a few necklaces from Casey and Beth gave me a really cool pair of glass earnings...

now why the honey you may ask ?... well we have circle every Friday morning and this past sat i brought up a need ..lol... i asked menlha why they stopped putting out honey as this was a need i needed i did not want to keep eating eggs as i never do at home and that i would love just to have toast with honey!! well Christmas morning my prayers had been answered i was soo happy!! as i was a little disappointed with menlha's answer go buy it if you want it...

then some thing really funny happened ... beth had been my seacret santa but i really id not know this till i opened my gift and saw that it was a poem and it was signed off at the bottom rumi... well i thought that beth signed it like that as roomie ... lol.. so when i turned to thank he she was very confused how i could tell it was from her as the poem was a by Rumi..lol she kept thinking how could michaela know it was me ... when we got back to our room we had our own little gift exchange... and beth lay down in her bed and blurted out soo michaela how did you knwo that the secret santa gift was from me? i said do you really wanna know?? i said you signed it off Rumi... she had a great laugh out of that...

the poem Beth made for me ....

after our lunch 6 of us made our way down to the beach it was so much fun we stayed there till sun set where we swam in the ocean watching the sun go down a beautiful way to finish the day!!

playing in the sand!

MERRY CHRISTMAS TO ALL !!

Woke up this morning to a little different ritual of Christmas ... rather then running and waking up my brother and sisters and rents im lying in bed wishing i could talk... you see as i am in costa rica and staying at hocienda del sol we have silence in the mornings... so we get up and can not talk till 9am ... do you know how difficult this is on Christmas morning for me... well if you didnt you do now its ridiculous!! so what have i done.. well to try and cope i have face booked my roommate Beth and wished her a merry Christmas as i can not roll over and wish her one... and ive also put my head phones in and rocking out to some Christmas music!

in about half a hour we are all gathering and will be able to talk !! thank god!!!

we will be doing a secret Santa exchange !! so excited BUt... i did not follow the rules .. you see the rule was you were to make some thing but... i tried to do this make one of those wind chimes but it didnt really work ... soo instead i had brought little gifts from van to give to ppl here and so i have warped one of those up its perfect for my person as well as it is a little charm bracelet!! it have peace and love on it!! i think its gonna work out just fine and the great thing is that no one knows who its from!! but... i didnt really think this through as i am giving a gift to menlha from me and she will knwo right away as i wrapped her gift the same way i wrapped this other gift..lol.. not so stealth.

I have no idea what the rest of my christmas day will in tale but i can tell you that it is a amazing beautiful day here !! sun shinning and i think i might just go catch some waves with beth spend christmas day on the beach isnt that what you are suppose to do what you are soem where hot??

now let me tell you about christmas eve!! wow was that ever a experience lol we had a talent show and then a rave lol... no not a rave but we did get out the strobe light and danced till 11:00 pm at night we broke hocienda's curfew and danced the night away!! i also had the opportunity to dress some of the girls for the night as i brought the biggest wardrobe! lol who would have guessed ... any ways pictures will be up soon of all of this i also have video's ill try and get up here !!

have a amazing day!!

GETTING READY FOR THE BIG NIGHT!!

SANTA

MICHELLE

MENLHA

xox lots of love M

fun in the sun pictures ...

jenny had mother nature take her bottoms form her in the ocean.. but made the best of it!!

Nancy peters wife.

session .... photo's getting to know caey's bum!

getting to know casey's bum very well... casey and ray!

had a funny session 3 with casey as she didnt know where to place her hands when massaging my chest lol.. alot of where are my hands.. as they got lost down my cleavage...

session # 3 photo's !!

playing in the water and sand photo's

tried to play it safe in the waves but guess what happened ...!?!

stranded and walking home from nosara ... photos

photos of my two days in nosara!

Casey slurping up her green juice!!

COCO NUT ON THE BEACH ...

Britina and I at the beach!

AN AMAZING WEEKEND IN NOSARA!

WELL ... ive been away for the past two days...

thursday wat a crazy day!! started with session # 3 .. witch i was really worried about as i did not feel i knew the moves ... in the end it all worked out and my client realy liked the massage !! guess that means im getting more confident as i sure as hell did for get the moves but acted like i knew what the hell i ws doing lol and pulled it off..

my client Luz!!


After class i took off to dinner with a bunch of ppl to Nosara,

out to dinner with every one!

totally expecting to come home but instead Casey shower up with Ray and invited Thomas and I to stay for Thursday and Friday night... so she convinced me and after a amazing dinner at this restaurant on the beach i headed of to there house!

picture of her kitchen...

where Thomas ans i shared a bedroom i slept on the bunk beds and he slept on the queen size bed next to me... i didnt get a very good sleep though as i tossed and turnrd all night and could hear his every move...

this morning i woke up very early and read a surf magazine as i set there i realized how much i had felt like Casey as she had provided me with pj's , t shirt shorts and even underwear and i had no idea i would be staying in nosara! at 930 casey and ray had massages and i really wanted to go into town and meet up with some of the other girls so that i would make it back to hocienda as i wanted to sleep in my own bed! so at 9am we left to hit the town we hot to nosara and i ended up having a great morning alone! i tried to find a cappuccino but it was not meant to be as as no ones capp maker was working.. so i then went to this little vegetarian cafe where i had flax seed banana pancakes ... they were so good with a blended coffee.. i was in heaven..

there was also this little juice bar in the hotel that they were having their massages so as i decided to go try this little bar it was amazing i had a pineapple basil smoothie.. mmm... soo good and i bumped into quen who was teaching a yoga class and having a meeting at the hotel.. she told me she was so bizzy and that thats why she has not had time to see me .. i then chilled around the little town till i met up with beth and a few of the other girls at 1pm.. we ended up hitting this surf beach witch is amazing and swam in some big swell's !! so much fun i also hit my first JOINT being here ... it was great ... felt like a vacation! in teh end it was britina beth and i sitting on the beach and thinking about how we were to get back as we had no ride brittina told us that she though she would get a ride with Jp a neighbor of menlha's but when we got there he had already left so we started to hoof it back.. as it started to get late and realized this might have been a 2hr walk back in the dark and thinking about the Boa snakes that we had seen on the roads we started to meditate that we would get a ride... well guess what we did this really nice guy named dave picked us up from the side of the road it was so great cuz he cot us all teh way to our front door!! Thanks Dave !!

now im home with a ton of amazing photos and memories!!

pictures will be posted soon!!

a new day a new light photos

PHOTO'S OF THE NEW LIGHT...

walking into a new light

the river...

this is funny beth brought incense but .. the lighter would not light... its the thought that counts..

5:30am rise and shine

well started my day off a little different to day as you all know yesterday and in some places today is winter solstice! so a few girls and i had a ceremony ... we let go of what we dont want in our lives any more ..this could be a feeling a person a action.. any thing really and either blew our intention into the leaf or wrote on the leaf.... i decided to write as i like to have a visual and i watched as our leafs floated down a little river... we also gave offering to a grandfather tree.. it was amazing then held on to the tree as we asked the new light to praise us with a helping had of what we would like in our lives...

here are a few pictures...

i gave the river a offering of a flower the tree a offering of a shell and the wrote my unwanted thoughts and actions on the leaves ..

holding the tree and letting in the new light!

this morning before we left to walk to the river i asked the goddess cards for guidance in what i should ask for ... & it said "the love you share is eternal regardless of the situation" the goddess card what named..ISPLT :meaning undying love.

after this we had meditation at 7am ... we only had half a hour to meditate today as we have client coming for a session.. it was so interesting as i was feeling really good after but during meditation lying down in silence i tried to close my eyes but my eyes wanted to be open and tears just streamed down my face.. i felt like i was letting go of all i had let drift down the river .. like the process had begun!

wo knows what the rest pf the day will bring but wanted to share this with ... i will also post a few more photo's!

love you all soo much xox M

photos of me...

photo of me..

and another...

photos at the black beach !

beth playing in the water as i take a walk...

life at the beach

when the weather changes so does the scenery...

black beach

beauty... looking up from black beach...

black beach

crab hole....