woke up this morning bright eyes and bushy ... had crazy dreams one was that my spirt had left my body and i had flown back to van and was walking in to my dads house at 6am in the monring and walking up his stairs to his bed room when i reached his bedroom door i hesitated and then knocked as i opened the door him and his wife were sleeping i went around to his side of the bed and gave him a big hug and said i love you guys then walked away shut the door walked out the front door and flew back to costa rica...
im thinking this is a relization that i am taking every day as my last ... no more pondering ... we only live once what do we have to loose if we put out hearts our ego on the line.. nothing some one my shut you down but who cares thats one person out of thousands... when you look at the big picture ou relize maybe out of the hundreds you know only 1 or two realy dont like you and thats ok.. every one has thier own feeling and you are who you are ... embrace that love FOR YOUR SELF ...
ive also relized that i hold back from love cuz i dont want any one to hurt me.. and i can tell you that this has led me to hurt other's for i get scared when they want to commit and back away when i actualy realy have loved them ... so ... time to take a chance put my heart out there and open up to the world. other wise im the one loossing out. if i like some one approch them its not like they are going to bite .. its like this one guy i realy liked back home havent seen him for years and always admired him and thought what a great guy ... but to chiken shit to talk to him ... i know this happens every day... so its time to stop thinking and react to those feelings.
im embracing life.
There is this littel Kitten here in costa rica that showed up at at a door here at hocienda del sol... we had no idea who's it was and menlha was looking for a kitten to hang out with the one she already had ... she wanted a girl as her cat she has is boy and wants a companion. well last night we noticed that this cat was a boy not a girl and menlha told us well i dont think i can keep it as boy cats dont get along and i want a companion for my cat.. i relized she wasnt even giving the cats a chance to be together as i watched the cats .. the kitten was so curiouse of the other cat and was hidding be hind chairs following it but not wanting to get in the other cats way and the other cat just egnored it.. but you could see how amazing this interaction was. then i relized this kitten has no control of its life here it could be eaton by a animal or given away at any moment for not being a girl.. and it made me relized how greatful i am for having a choice a say in my life as this is a familiar story to alot of ppl out there in third world countries .. we are so luckey to live where we do with the lives we live... we may not know our path but we do know that we have a choice and some security.
its about taking time to look at the bigger picture what you have ... knowing that you'r cup is half full ... and love is always around you...
my intention today is to give love and recieve love... in any way or form ... a hug a smile a conversation a connection...
lots of love to all of you ... from costa rica .. xox
M
Kayla you are so amazing! I see you growing every day, in every way. There's nothing you can't do, if you put your mind to it! Love you chickadee.
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