GO BIG OR GO HOME!!
i guess hat's how i do it... after blogging i started class ... i didnt walk to talk to any one and menlha could tell some thing was up as i walkeed in her direction she asked me are you sick? i answerd no just so angery today and mad. she patted me and said good this is good it comming out.. i though oh here we go again great i get to sit here massaging some one and just let it come!! how many time do i have to hear this..? BUT NO... thats not what menlha said ... she said WHY DONT YOU AND DAVID GET THIS OUT... david is her ex husband a teacher here who taches meditation and soo... SHE SAID BEAT THE SHIT OUT OF A PILLOW LET ALL YOUR ANGER OUT. well david came over with a twin matres and two pillows mean while all my fellow class mates are massaging eachother...he told me to follow him and his matress and pillows dontto room #11 ... i had no idea what i was in for ... soon as i entred the room i started to cry i was soo mad i just wanted to yell David lay down the matress and pillows and said ok michaela this pillow is who ever you want it to me and this other pillow is for you to beath the shit out of the matress nd the person and you kneel across from the other person and say and yell what ever you want!! I DID !! I YELLED AND SWORE AND BEAT THAT PILLOW DEAD... now are you asking who was the pillow well i was broken into a few years ago in kelowna but a 26yr man he beat me with a two by four and then went to the kitchen to grab a butcher knife... he went to jail for 4 years 3 months and is now on probation ... LET ME TELL YOU I LET HIM HAVE IT!! then as i sat there cryig unable to say any more david said ok michaela now you go sit on that pillow where the other person is and you talk to michaela as if you were him!! omg... it was crazy it went some thin like this " YOU STUPID BITCH LOOK WHAT YOU DID TO YOUR SELF! YOU FUCKING DIDNT GRAB YOUR PURSE WHEN I TOLD YOU TWO AND YOU MADE ME COME AFTER YOU AND BEAT YOU! YOU BITCH YOU CREATED THIS YOU DESTROYED MY LIFE LOOK AT ME IM IN A FUCKING JAIL CELL WHILE YOU GET TO LIVE YOUR LIFE" wow i cryed and cryed i was in so much pain ... then david said ok now michaela go sit back in your place and talk to him like you are as powerful and as strong as him tell him how you feel ! a few things i said were " YOU DID THIS YOU RUINED TWO INICENT LIVES ... I GAVE YOU A CHANCE WHEN YOU BROKE IN I TOLD YOU TO GET OUT AND I THOUGHT YOU WERE A GOOD PERSON ... YOU BEAT ME AN SHATTERED ALL MY DREAMS AND RIPPED MY LIFE FROM UNDER ME... WELL YOUR NOT GOING TO BE IN MY LIFE ANY MORE YOU ARE NOT GOING T STEAL ANY MORE OF MY DREAMS AWAY FROM ME I AM STRONG AND I AM GOING TO LIVE MY LIFE !! this was just bits of it...after i was done i cryed and cryed i feel a weight has lifted off y shoulder and i have to say i have never been so mad in my life no have i ever shown any type of emotion like thsi before! im still crying and trying to make sence of all thsi today ... i have 0 energy.. and have been sleeping up in class trying to listen to some of the teachings...
BUT wow is all i can say ... what a day...and its not over yet...
love you all xox M
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